ugghhhh

went to party. Ate more than i should. Rode bike. now too tired to write this. UGGHGHHGH

ETA: so I went to a surprise bday party for a friend. It said potluck so i really didn't expect to eat too much. most of the time i can't eat much at a pot luck cause there is onions in everything. But anyways it turned into a huge cookout...steak, hamburgers, mussles, shrimp, clams, hotdogs, chips, salad, strawberries, watermelon...then there was the taco dip i made and omg someone brought the BEST snickerdoodles i have EVER had. I think that's what killed me lol. Anyways dropped the girls off at my moms on the way home and steve and I decided to go for a bike ride. Issue being that i hadn't ridden a bike in about 10-15 years. Then the bike i was riding wouldn't switch gears right. so we were out for maybe an hour. Considering i was coming to the end of a sorta manic phase (been sleeping in 2 hour blocks lately) I was exhausted. still didn't go to bed till like midnight but slept like 11 hours.

Weakness

I am so weak. Seriously. So today Steve decided to wake me up an hour late and then rush me getting ready so we could go to his sister's. Guess what I forgot. Breakfast. So we went to his sister's (yay i'm so glad they're done fighting), ran a couple errands, and then went to my parents to pick up my moms old bike (now my bike). Till we got home it was like 2pm. So I'm SOOO hungry at that point. I haven't gone grocery shopping and i REALLY don't feel like cooking anything so i decide to go to Subway. Well McDonalds is right next door and the rest of the family decided they wanted burgers. so FIRST i messed up by getting a soda at Subway. I justified it by saying that I didn't have water at home yet. I did have some fruit juice left though and that would have been much better. Then when i went to get the family food.... i got fries. I know fries are like the worst but I LOVE McDonalds fries.

On the other hand I was proud of myself today. It pretty much rained most of the day after we got home so I COULD have had a valid excuse for not taking a walk...and well i still have yardsale stuff in the living room so i don't have room to exercise there. However when Kit woke up from her nap (not till like 7 pm tonight!!!) it had stopped raining so not only did I go for a walk but I also pushed myself to do a 4th lap around the neighborhood.

Got home and went straight to the store and tried to make some healthier food choices. No TV dinners. DID get some of these tyson chicken ball things that were cordon bleu. They're pretty yummy. Had 4 of them for dinner which is 1 ball more than a "serving" then had some honey wheat pretzels. For snacks I bought the pretzels, some of those kashi bars, low fat cottage cheese, and bananas. NO sweets. I bought some boneless skinless chicken breasts to make for dinner some nights this week and some organic pasta and alfredo sauce made with sundried tomatoes....which probably has a lot of fat in it but it is SOOOOO good. gonna go to costco tomorrow and get some beef. Yeah i know red meat is "bad for you" Am gonna try to eat it more in moderation, but dammit I love me my red meat and i'm not giving up both that and sweets. Plus steve would shoot me if i banned beef from the house LOL.

Two days in a row

Got out for another walk today. Wanted to walk with my SIL this morning but didn't wake up in time. I gotta start going to bed earlier. was up till 5:30 or so. Anyways woke up this morning and had one of the weight loss shakes i still had left over. It wasn't even about diet this morning it was about having 4 hours sleep and not feeling like having to prepare anything. Even nuking was beyond me. Went back to bed around noon and slept till almost 3. Got up and putzed around on the comp until the baby woke up from her nap. Tana came over then and asked if we could go for a walk. Walked around the neighborhood down the road 3 times. I don't know how far it is but if i had to guess i would say 1.5-2 miles we walked. Maybe i'll go measure it with my car LOL. Came home and had 2 tuna salad sandwhiches for dinner. Didn't have any wheat thins to go with the tuna salad, had to settle for bread. I had a 6 oz pouch of tuna i split with Tana, so maybe it was a bit much to eat, but that was all i had...no chips or anything with it so that's an improvement for me. Around 11pm I got REALLY hungry so i had a small bowl of Kix with just enough milk to make it damp. Then i was still hungry so i had 2 slices of american cheese. I STILL feel hungry. Would try filling the belly up with water but i'm out of spring water and the tap here tastes like chlorine..ick. So anyways am going to clean up the kitchen some I think and then call it a night. Oh I also called my mom this morning and asked her if I could have her bike. She's had it....well forever and I can't EVER recall seeing her actually ride it. So she said sure so going to pick that up tomorrow and steve's gonna get it ready for me to ride. I need to get the living room cleaned up too so i have room to work out some in there. I have the Wii fit plus we have comcast on demand and they have some work out shows for free on there so am gonna have to check that out so things don't get boring. Am thinking about getting the new EA workout game for the Wii but I know Steve won't let me until i prove i'm serious...so i figure i will try and lose 10-15 lbs and then ask.

I'm Back

Ok SOOOOO obviously i had kinda given up. Just weighed myself and i'm just shy of 225. Which while a 6 lb gain sux I thought it was MUCH, MUCH worse. I really thought i had gained 15-20. So anyways now back on track. My goal for 2 weeks from now is 5 lbs. I know that supposedly a pound or 2 a week is what's healthy but honestly at my weight I don't think taking that much or even a little more would hurt me. I know that weight loss will slow down unless I up my game later so i might as well start hard now. I think I am going to focus more on exercise than diet. I mean, I'm gonna try to keep the junk food to a minimum, but counting calories just confuses and depresses me. So gonna try to just keep it to good food, reasonable portions, and get off my butt and move.